I am tired.
Now, I know what you’re thinking. We all get tired. We get tired after a long work day, or a good workout, a busy week, or when you have a cold. But that’s not the kind of tired I mean.
I mean the kind of tired where you can barely make it from bed to the shower without needing a rest. The kind of tired where deciding what to wear to work that day is exhausting, and you need to take a break in between laying out your clothes, and actually putting them on. The kind of tired where even thinking about going out with friends after work scares you, because you know you won’t be able to keep up with them. The kind of tired where you have to decide which weekend outing you can afford based on your energy expenditure for the week. Hell, I missed a good friend’s wedding a couple of weeks ago because I could not work up the energy to get dressed, and get out of the house. That REALLY put me into a funk.
That’s ANOTHER thing that makes you tired. Feeling so down on yourself for being tired, or unable to participate, that you get more depressed. It’s an evil circle. One that’s very hard to break.
But break it we must. I’m not going to be that person who screams about “Mind over matter”. But…unfortunately…that person might be right. There is something to be said for the mental fortitude required to pull oneself out of a downward spiral. It is incredibly hard to come by, and can sometimes take weeks, or months to get ourselves there.
However long it may take, we must treat the upward motion as a victory. We must celebrate the small moments. Those moments are fragile, are fleeting. We have to enjoy them. Take the time to acknowledge the win. However small it may be.
Today I acknowledge that I got up and worked up the energy to write this blog. It has been a long time since I have felt both the motivation, and energy to write coherently. Small victory to some, I know. But I hope that this, however small, and personal, may resonate with someone else who may feel similarly to me.
As always, you are your own best advocate. If you do not fight for yourself, who will?
Until next time,